The Big List Of Ways To Annoy Snape
by enigma of rivendell
Summary: Basically the title says it all...I combined all my old indiviusal list into one big one!


Turn all his objects into port keys

Bring back the marauders from the dead

Show him Sweeny Todd

Dress exactly like him and make your hair look the same to and call your self his Minnie me. (Must be a midget for this to work)

Read a Snape and Dumbledore slash in front of the whole school.

Have Hagrid put up at least six Christmas trees in the dungeons decorated with all things Gryffindor colors.

Tell Dumbledore that Snape is a pedophile and that he should be fired IMMEDIATELY.

Instead of handing in a potions essay hand in a Snape slash.

Put a charm on him so that he can only say things in txt language.

Tell the house elves that Snape is throwing a Christmas party and demands they come.

If he gives you a detention start sobbing and refuse to stop until he gives you a hug.

Order him a year's subscription of Playboy.

Dress as Snape for Halloween.

Charm everything in the dungeons pink.

Insist he see a therapist from Saint Mungos

Do this only if you are in Gryffindor: Ask a second year to tell you the questions Snape ask on your very first day of potions. If they tell you, tell the rest of your housemates so that when Snape decides to torture the Griffindores by asking like fifth year questions you'll already know the answer.

Stun him and lock him in a tanning bed. (Only leave Snape in the tanning bed long enough to get a little over tanned. PLEASE DO NOT KILL SNAPE! Remember to take him out and flee the scene)

Buy him a very large amount of Christmas presents wrapped in bright colors.

Send him thousands of invitations to every ball at Hogwarts.

Ask him to be your one of your brides maid

Cover the dungeons in sparkles

Make him dance with you at the Christmas ball

Buy him a bat mobile

Give him a pot plant for Christmas (Snape won't know that pot plants are illegal, so you can report him to the police)

Put pot in all his potions

Fill the great hall with illegal substances (pot smoke)

Take him to a heavy metal concert and throw him into the mash pit

Send all the sltherins on vacation and replace them with gay guys (using polyjuice potion)

Get Brittany Spears to lecture him on his private life

Make him go golfing with you (he must wear golfer clothes)

Get all the Griffindores to send him Christmas cards decked pout in Gryffindor colors.

Ask him to be your Childs godfather

Tell him that your baby is his child (if he denies insist on going on Jerry Springer)

Ask him if he's ever stared in a horror movie

Shave his head while he is sleeping

Tell him that Madonna wants him as a backup dancer.

Buy him miniature models of all the marauders animagus forms.

Paint a picture of him and Voldemort on a beach embracing each other and then make many more copies of it and hang them all over Hogwarts.

Plant illegal drugs in his classroom.

Get Fluffy and change him into a three-headed pink poodle and stick it in Snapes Classroom.

Frame him for a murder that he did not commit.

De-pants him in front of the whole great hall.

Trapp him on a cold mountain so he will have to wear some form of fur.

Force him to Attend Ballet lessons.

Put a spell on him that causes him to grow lots of hair every where (make sure the spell is only temporarily because I do love snape and it would be a pity having a Harry boyfriend)

Take him to an all mans bar as in a gay bar and ditched him after you get him drunk!

Follow him around poking him around until he threatens to kill you then report him to Dumbledore.

Tell him that if he were to lose a few pounds and take better care of his hair not to mention work out a little and get a tan then he might have a chance to star in the Twilight movie as Jacob.

Ask him what happens when the grease on his hair drops into his potions.

Beg him to take you to Disneyland.

Make him take you to Disneyland.

Hold a gun to his head and force him to take you to Disneyland.(but do not kill Snape!)

Next time he smirks at you ask him if all Slithering smirk or if his lips always twitches like that.

Make his hair frizz.

Put his face on a milk carton.

Put pictures of naked men all over his classroom so that people think he is gay.

Paint his nails bright pink when he is sleeping. Make sure you place a permanent sticking charm on this!

Make his boxers glow so that his waste area glows.

Shave his head and polish it

Cover his wand in gum and make it non vanish able and place a sticking charm on it.

Make a chick-flick movie involving a three some between Dumbledore, Snape, and Voldemort.

Make sure that he can only talk by singing song lyrics for a day or two or a week maybe a month or two.

Throw him into a black hole.

Buy him a monkey that follows him around humping his legs and umm other parts. Make sure that this monkey cannot be removed or killed in any way. Even better put an invisibility cloak on the monkey so that he feels it but no one else see's it. Which might lead to him being taken to Saint Mungo' insanity ward.


End file.
